


the only thing that works is the truth (and you are the hardest truth to tell)

by majesdane



Category: Skins (UK)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-03-18
Updated: 2009-03-18
Packaged: 2017-12-06 09:43:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/734255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesdane/pseuds/majesdane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>She just wants Katie to leave her alone, to leave this whole </i>thing<i> alone.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	the only thing that works is the truth (and you are the hardest truth to tell)

 

  
between you and me (somewhere between now and then), this is where we buried the children we once were.  
\-- _pleasefindthis_  


 

 

When Emily gets home the next morning, Katie's already up, her hair still damp from the shower. And when Katie asks where she was, Emily shrugs and says, "At a friend's house," and Katie gives her a look that Emily can't quite figure out.

She heads upstairs, half because she's still wearing JJ's clothes and wants to change out of them before Katie notices and starts asking questions, and half because she wants to scrub herself raw in the shower and forget about what happened last night and this morning.

She knows it's not bad -- not really, anyway, since it didn't mean anything and besides, it was _her_ who snuck the bottle of vodka into the club, downing half of it without even thinking, letting Cook come up behind her, kissing her neck and feeling her up. And it was _her_ who initiated it, in JJ's bedroom, and it was only just a charity thing, so she shouldn't be feeling bad about it or blaming anyone but herself, but it doesn't keep her from feeling lousy regardless.

Katie follows her, three steps behind, and Emily can feel a sense of dread washing over her, that heavy, sea-sick sort of feeling settling into the pit of her stomach as she climbs up the stairs, goes into their bedroom.

She's already undressing, tugging off her shirt, when Katie enters a moment later, shutting the door behind her with a soft click, standing there with her arms crossed until Emily finally turns around. Their eyes meet, wordlessly, and Emily can't even bear to face her sister, not yet, anyway; she glances away as quickly as possible, feeling panicked and lightheaded, like the sky is pressing down on her.

"What is wrong with you?" Katie says, and Emily flinches, can't help herself, even though Katie's tone is flat and even, without even the slightest hint of anger (though that's probably the thing that scares her the most, the fact that Emily doesn't know what she's thinking).

She mumbles, "Nothing," and thinks it's the most pathetic response ever.

Katie doesn't say anything as first, just presses her lips firmly together, and Emily shifts uncomfortably, wanting to be anywhere else and doing anything else than here or this. She's not ready for this, not at all, and doesn't want to face Katie like this, feeling worn out from too many emotions and too many fucking things going on at once.

"I thought you said you weren't gay," Katie says, her voice low and accusing.

"I'm . . . I'm not," Emily protests weakly, and she thinks it sounds stupid, what's coming out of her mouth, because there's no way she's going to convince anyone, least of all Katie, that she's straight. "I'm not gay. I told you."

"I know what _told_ me." Katie frowns. "But that's apparently not the truth, is it?"

"JJ -- "

"JJ _what_?" Katie takes a step forward and Emily takes a step back, nervous. "What is it that you're going to tell me, Em?"

Emily glances down again, hands gripping the edge of her shirt, palms sweaty. "I don't know."

"Fucking right you don't know," Katie says, and she's awfully close now, Emily thinks, her mouth going dry, feeling anxious and unsure.

And _scared_ too, she thinks, though she's not sure why. Katie's been mad at her before and they've been in this situation more times than she can count -- Katie accusing her of being gay and her fervently denying it -- so she should be used to it. Only, she's not used to it, not ever, and there's a look in Katie's eyes that she doesn't quite like.

She whimpers, "Katie, please, don't," and Katie just laughs and shoves her back. Emily trips and falls back onto Katie's bed, getting tangled in the mess of sheets and blankets. Katie's on top of her in a second, straddling her and pinning her arms to the bed.

"What the fuck is going on, Emily?" She says, her nails digging painfully into Emily's wrists.

"I'm not, I'm _not_ ," Emily cries, helplessly, again and again, as if somehow her saying it will make so. She just wants Katie to leave her alone, to leave this whole _thing_ alone.

But Katie just glares down at her and Emily doesn't even think she's listening to a single word she's saying. And then Katie leans down and kisses her, full on the mouth, quick and rough, her grip loosening on Emily's wrists, and Emily uses it to her advantage, breaking free and shoving Katie off her.

"Fuck," Katie says, from the floor and Emily sits up quickly, wiping her mouth frantically with the back of her hand, staring at her sister.

"What the _fuck_ , Katie?"

Katie just grins at her, infuriatingly so, looking rather pleased with herself. "You didn't like that, did you?"

"No!" Emily can still feel Katie's lips pressed against hers, small and soft like her own. She can still taste Katie's strawberry lip gloss, and it makes her head spin and her skin tingle. "What the hell, Katie? What were you doing?"

Katie smirks. "Proving a point. I kissed you and you didn't like it. And well, I'm the best there is, really, you and I both know it." She grins even wider, standing up and brushing herself off, re-adjusting her skirt and top. "So you can't possibly be gay."

"Oh," Emily manages to say, weakly, though she's confused as hell about the whole thing and wishes that she could understand her sister's fucked up logic. "I told you I wasn't."

"But I didn't believe you," Katie says. Pauses, "I'm not sure if I do now either."

Emily looks down, plays with a corner of the black and blue plaid blanket on Katie's bed, bunched up around her lap. She just wants Katie to go away, wants to shower and crawl into bed and sleep, just forget everything that's happened these past few days.

Katie sighs, takes a step forward, leans in and kisses Emily on the top of her head. "I don't think you're gay, really. You're just confused. Don't worry; I'll find a guy for you, promise. After all, that's what sisters do for each other, right? They help each other out."

Emily hesitates, can feel Katie's hot breath on her forehead, waiting. "Right."

"Good. We're sorted, then." Katie smiles and steps away. She heads for the door, satisfied. Her hand on the doorknob, she pauses, turns, looks over at Emily. Then, "But I don't want you hanging out so much with Naomi anymore."

"But, we're best mates -- "

"Well, stop it," Katie says, her smile gone, the edge back in her voice. "Because I don't like who you are when you're with her."

Emily wants to ask what she means by that.

She doesn't.


End file.
